Konoha High And Why it Sux
by BoredNeko
Summary: Woe, I have fallen into the stereotypical trap AU high school ploy. However, this branches a little bit outside of that trap. Enter, and see Crimson, the work of teenagers, who just want to express who they are. Warning: May contain yaoi.
1. Intro

A/N: Yo, BoredNeko here. For all of my friends who probably freaked out at the yaoi warning, it was a bet... It's times like these that my love for my only cousin wavers. _You didn't really love him in the first place. _Shut up, you. Yes, EF1313, my muse, has returned from her vacation in Aruba! Whoot. _Not her obvious enthusiasm_. Yep, so, without further ado, I bring you: Konoha High- And Why It Sux... Oh, and Otter, you may not want to read this... The Intro contains much cursage that you probably don't wanna see.

Mandatory mabobber: I do not own Naruto... _Actually, we own nothing, which is basically the same thing._

_My school is one hell of a fucked up school. I mean, the social status chart is just screwed up beyond repair. Excuse me, but who's _

_ever heard of the star basketball player being an openly gay, perverted weirdo? I am Uchiha Sasuke, and this is my documentary of _

_highschool. In this, you will find things written by me, my older brother, and friends in general. From this point forward, be _

_prepared to be shocked by the exploits of Konoha High- this is why it sux. _

A/N: Yes... Hopefully, you weren't mentally scarred by this. And if you were, remember, I'm broke, I have no money to pay for your medical bills. Oh, and before I forget, Happy Spring Br eak!


	2. August

A/N I have 23 hits, and only two reviews. Why does that strike me as, oh I dunno, ODD! Please review more... it ups my self-worth, it makes me happy! (Which is now why Satski is my new favorite person in the world.) I now bring you, the first chapter of Konoha High And Why It Sux.

_So..._ _Itachi got me this notebook for my birthday, he said it was to help me 'express my inner feelings'_ _Now... How the hell am I supposed to do that! You know what, forget it. I'll just randomnly put whatever pops into my head down._

_There's this new kid in town, his name is Shino. He's okay, doesn't talk much though. We hang out sometimes, he's good company... Better than just Itachi anyway._

_...Great, now I have this unexplainable urge to write down all my friend's names, and a little blurb about them... Well, whatever, here it goes:_

_Neji: I've known Neji for who knows how long. He's cool, but into art, so he has all these introverted friends... More about them later. Another thing about Neji, is that he is this huge, and I mean HUGE, anime/manga freak_. _He makes all these obscure references to the stuff he reads, and no one knows what he's talking about, but whatever. To each his own, I guess._

_Gaara: Gaara is... himself. He has too many opinions to be goth, not suicidal enough to be emo, and too uncaring to be a rebel/punk. So, he's got his own social group called 'Gaara'_, _and he's the only one in it._

_Kisame: Kisame used to be some random upperclassman until a while ago. Somehow, we just started to hang out, and...well, yeah. His parents are work-a-holics too, so he usually comes over, and we just "chill." I think that aniki has a thing for him, but they're both in denial._

_Shino: Like I said before, Shino is new here. He doesn't talk much, but he doesn't need to. Body language and his eyes cover it for him. Shino's a calming influence, so it's always nice to have him around._

_Most of these guys come over in the summer, and we just crash and burn in the pool. Konoha has the most evil seasons ever; summer is no exception. The Uchiha estate has the largest pool, all everyone else needs to do is bring their own video games/books/DVDs. It's like a never-ending sleep over._

_Hold on, the guys all want their turns writing in this now:_

_...I feel like an idiot. I'm writing to a f-ing notebook of all things. How does Sasuke not feel stupid whilst doing this? (S.G.)_

_Don't feel stupid Gaa-chan! Embrace this feeling! It's always nice to write to inanimate objects! (K.H.)_

_Kisame, are you TRYING to get yourself mauled? Anyway, I agree with Gaara, it's weird writing to this...thing. Can't we, I duuno, give it a name or something? (A.S.)_

_Crimson. I dub this notebook Crimson, like the blood that funs through everyone's veins. (H.N.)_

_Wow, feeling emo today, Hyuuga? (S.G.)_

_Shut up, fool. (H.N.)_

_Make me...fool. (S.G.)_

_...Right then. I'll be taking "Crimson" back now, thanks. So, it's a month before school starts again, and I intend to live this month to it's fullest!_

"Friends, classmates, fellow citizens. I beg you, I implore you, listen to my plea. Thoughts of this world have plagued my mind, and I wish to confide in you. Do you agree to listen to my sad, depressing theories, and risk losing any childhood that you have left?"

"I had a childhood?" Gaara asked dryly, not looking up from the reading journal he was writing.

"Well, Gaara... You don't count."

Shino looked up from his book, and blinked. "Itachi, why are you wearing a skirt?"

"WHAT!" Sasuke shrieked, shooting up from his chair. "Aniki, what are you doing!"

"Oh, this?" The raven haired beauty motioned to his outfit: a short black skirt, and a stomach-baring tube top. "I got dared by an e-mail buddy to act/dress/talk like a girl for a of the day. I'm starting in an hour, twelve noon exactly. What do you think, do I make a convincing female?"

The other teens looked up at this question. "Holy-! Itachi, I knew you were feminine, but no THAT feminine." Kisame gaped.

"Hello, Ritsu-san." Neji said simply.

Gaara looked up, smirked, and then went back to his pile of summer reading. "So, Itachi, what's up with this dare thing?"

"Oh, it's just a game, something like: Do Want To Play Dare... I don't really remember."

"Oh, okay."

"What's up with Gaara? He's not as sarcastic as usual..." Sasuke looked at his other friends, worry etched on his handsome features.

"He has a hangover. His older sister bought b33r yesterday, and he got his a55 pwn3d in a drinking game." Neji said calmly.

"That's... weird."

"Aniki, that creepy stalker guy sent you another love letter. It reeks of perfume."

"Give it to Shino, he'll know what to do with it."

"Mm." Sasuke got up, and began to wander around the halls of the Uchiha manor, looking for his quiet friend. "Oh, Shino, here."

"What is it?"

"Something Itachi wants- 'disposed of'."

"Ah," The emerald eyed (1) youth nodded, then pulled out a lighter, and stepped outside. "I've always wanted to see how flammable perfume was." He murmured, before lighting it up.

"Ooh... Pretty colors..." Gaara grinned as he watched the letter burn.

"Poor guy," Kisame shook his head in mock sadness. "He'll never have a chance."

Across town, Sai sneezed. (2)

"Neji?"

"Hm?"

"Watcha doing?"

"Drawing a few random scenarios from this summer." The pearl-eyed boy answered.

"Oh, can I see?"

"Sure." Neji passed a sketchbook to the redhead sitting next to him, and stretched languidly.

Gaara flipped it open, and smiled. There was a chibi-Sasuke ranting about how their school was screwed up, and Itachi wearing a skirt. Shino looking frustrated, knee deep in summer schoolwork, while Kisame sat to the side and laughed. He and Shino looking at the charred remains of Itachi's love letter, and him looking dazed (hangovered). However, his favorite of all the drawing had to be the last. It was a watercolor of all of them, gazing up at the fireworks in the night sky.

"Hey, Neji?"

"Yeah?"

"These are pretty cool."

"I know."

_School starts tomorrow. Whoo hoo, go Shinobis. (3) Yeah, please ignore my lack of school spirit. I don't know why Crimson, but I think that this year will be a lot more chaotic than last. Whatever, there's nothing this stupid school can throw at me that I can't take._

1 I know that we've never seen Shino's eyes, but we can pretend right?

2 I'm not really sure why I chose Sai as the stalker... I just did.

3 Yes, I know. I have no creativity whatsoever when it comes to the school team name.

A/N Yay! I finally finished typing! The format gota little messed up when I transferred it, so you can't see the story breaksas clearly as I would like... Ah, well.Do not worry my readers, the second chapter shall come soon... (Soon as in, once my literacy teacher stops piling up with schoolwork, and I actually have free time to write, and an hour to type...) Thanks for reading! Neko out!


	3. September

A/N Whoot! Second chapter is finally out! I thank my 6 different reviewers out there, and beg that the ones who I know not to mock yaoi. People out there actually like it you know... Yeah, and here is the second chappie!

Disclaimer: BoredNeko owns nothing but her beloved anime/manga collection... And she doesn't even really own that.

_Right, so Sasuke got the bright idea to pass Crimson around. We did Rock, Paper, Scissors, and guess who the lucky bastard who gets to write in you first is? That's right, it's me, Gaara! ...I'm basically talking to myself using this as an excuse, aren't I? Tch, whatever._

_Temari left for college a while ago. Now, it's just me, Kankurou, and Yashamaru. I'll miss her... maybe. She wished me good luck in the new school year. As if. The other kids find it all too easy to torment the quiet kid. School starts in a few hours, can't you just feel my enthusiasm?_

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"Gaara, get up. Kankurou's going to drive to school now, do you want a ride there?" Yashamaru poked his head into his nephew's room. "Gaara?"

" 'M coming." Gaara mumbled, climbing out of bed. "Give me a few seconds, okay?"

"Alright. Your lunch is on the table, the keys are by the door. Be a good boy, and don't cause your teachers trouble."

"I know, I know." The redhead rolled his eyes. "Don't worry so much, oji-san, I'll be find."

"Famous last words." Kankurou smirked. "C'mon Squirt, we gotta go."

"Coming." Gaara tugged his shoes on. "Bye!"

"Be safe!" his uncle called.

" Be safe? That's ironic, since you're sending me to school with Kankurou."

"Hey, my driving isn't bad!"

"Of course it's not. Now, come on, we're going to be late."

Fifteen minutes of life-threatening driving later, and Gaara was back on safe, solid ground.

"I...feel...sick..." The younger boy mumbled, leaning against the car for support.

"Hey! I told you already, my driving's not bad!"

"How do you explain that tree?"

"It popped out of nowhere."

"Into the middle of the road?"

"Yes!"

"...You keep thinking that."

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_The first day wasn't worth mentioning. I mean, there are an interesting bunch of people in my homeroom, my writing teacher is a freak a green spandex, my Geometry teacher's a shameless chain-smoker, and my gym teacher is a 'top notch perv.' But, there was no real egging on. Class was all rules and regulations._

_There are a lot of conflicting personalities in homeroom though, so it should be interesting to see how things progress as the year goes on..._

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"Hey, are you going to the dance?" Sakura paused at their lunch table, and gave them all a quick once-over.

"What dance?" Sasuke asked, ever so intelligently.

"The Welcome Back dance, duh!" The bubblegum-pink haired girl glared.

"...I don't dance." Shino muttered.

"Same!" The other boys choroused.

"Come on, you guys HAVE to go! It'll be fuun." She wheedled.

"Define fun." Gaara mumbled.

"Fun-enjoying oneself." Neji recited dutifully. "As in, reading manga is fun."

"Oh... I see..." Shino nodded wisely.

"Aw, come on... Itachi's going." Sakura baited.

"I'll go!" Kisame volunteered immediately.

"See? Now Kisame's going too. Please?" She pleaded desperately.

"Why are you so desperate to get us to go?" Sasuke asked, annoyed.

"Uh... yeah... Well, you see... I, uh.. Sort of bet with Naruto about you guys actually being able to dance, and well... In order to prove that you guys can actually dance, I sort of need you guys to go." Jade green eyes looked down, as Sakura mumbled out her explaination quickly.

"...You bet with the idiot of the basketball star we have." Gaara said slowly.

"Yes." Was his meek reply.

"Not only that, but you bet that we could dance..." Shino squinted, confused.

"Uh-huh."

"I'll go." Neji offered.

"Seriously?" Everyone turned to stare.

"Sure, why not. It sounds interesting." The pearl-eyed boy shrugged. "Plus, I can drag along my fellow artists, and we can crash the party."

Gaara groaned. "That means I have to go too..."

"Why?" Kisame asked.

"Kankuorou's in Neji's group of fellow artists, and I have to go to make sure that he doesn't get arrested." The redhead stated, matter-of-factly.

"Okay then... What about you Shino?" Sakura asked.

"..." Shino just looked at her. And, this look clearly said 'what do you think?'

"Please?" Sakura was clearly getting desperate. "Uh... I think Kiba will be there."

"...Fine."

Everyone gaped. Surprisingly enough (not), Itachi was the first to recover. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Really, really?"

"Yes."

"Really, really, REALLY?"

"Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"Kindly shut up."

"Of course... Hey, wait a second. Why hasn't Sasuke been dragged into this?" All eyes turned to the raven-haired boy.

"Thanks a lot, aniki." He mumbled, glaring at his older brother.

"Please Sasuke, go for me?" Sakura turned hopeful eyes on him.

"No."

He wasn't budging. Time to bring out the heavy artillery. "If you don't go, I'll tell you-know-who about you-know-what."

"Ooooooooooooooooooh." The others chorused.

"You. Wouldn't. Dare."

"Try me."

"You're efficiently doomed, Sasuke." Neji smirked.

"I hate you all, you know that right?"

"I love you too, Sasuke. Bye!" She skipped off.

"We are so skewered."

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_... I never knew that Shino could breakdance, nor did I know that Sasuke could rap... Apparently, you learn new things everyday. Needless, Sakura has a fresh new twenty tucked into her pocket thanks to us. Of course, we're not counting what she gave to people who were mindscarred. God knows I am... Or was according to the ten in my pocket._

_Yeah, I spent most of the time in a nice, dark corner with Sasori. He and Kankurou had this whole conversation about the 'art of puppetry.' Then Deidara popped up, and dragged him off... Sucker._

_You know something else I didn't know, Crimson? Our school has a pimp. His name is Shikamaru, and he spent most of the night walking around with three girls attached to his arm. Didn't look too happy though... I wonder why he became a pimp..._

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"Shikamaru, my pimpin' friend!" Naruto shoved his way through a throng of people. "How's it going?" The blonde lowered his voice. "Keepin' your bitches in check?"

"Tch, no. Its too troublesome..." The pony-tailed genius yawned. His stalkers had gone off to get drinks, but they would be back in a few minutes, energized as ever.

"Then, why are you a pimp?"

"I'm not. You took the liberty of having the emo kid who runs the yearbook committee add the words 'Master Pimp Shikamaru' under my picture."

"Okay, first off, it was 'MASTA PIMP SHIKA', not 'Master Pimp Shikamaru'. Second, Sasuke's not emo, he's special."

"Damn straight!" Sasuke added, popping out of nowhere, and then disappearing again.

"Oh..." Shikamaru twitched. "I see..."

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_Right, so September's over. This month was as boring as hell. Nothing happened, I found no interest, no creative sparks, nada! Maybe Shino will have more luck in October. After all, he gets to cover Halloween. Poor guy, he's going to be scarred once at school, once at the Halloween dance, and then once again by the brats that trick-or-treat._

_I should probably warn him... Nah. He's coming over later to pick you up, Crimson. I'm going to laugh at him... _

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"Here." Shino blinked as Crimson was shoved into his hands. The notebook looked relatively unscathed, save for a few new doodles... Weird.

"...Thanks?" The emerald-eyed boy glanced at his friend. "Are you okay, Gaara? You look... unsteady."

"Me? Unsteady? Of course not!" Gaara smirked, then giggled, then broke into all but insane laughter. "You poor sucker! You have no idea what's coming up!" More insane laughter, and the redhead fell to the floor clutching his sides.

"Right... I'll leave now..." Shino backed out of the house slowly, clutching Crimson to his chest. Gaara's hysterical laughter followed him down the street. The dark-haired boy couldn't help but feel an eerie sense of foreboding looming overhead.

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A/N Ha! I am finished! Okay, anyone who can successfully guess what you-know-what to you-know-who is, will get a special appearance as a 'trick-or-treating brat' in the October chapter! Review, it makes me happy!


	4. First GenerationBonus Chap

A/N: I apologize to all my reviewers and readers for the long, LONG absence/lack of update. My literacy teacher was a slavedriver for the last month of school, and I'm suffering writer's block. So, in an effort to make it up to you all, I have given you a bonus chapter! Well, not really...It's more like the prequel (sp?) of Konoha High...

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not BoredNeko, or any of her minions.

Uchiha Sasuke glared at his brother. "Aniki, I know that you're excited about highschool. I understand that the enthusiasm you harbor has forced you to obsess over your appearance, clothes, and many other things. Just answer one question for me, please."

"Anything for my favorite baby brother!"

The younger boy decided to resist the urge to say: 'I'm your only little brother.' Instead, he contented himself with: "WHY THE FREAK DID YOU DRAG ME UP AT SUCH AN UNHOLY HOUR TO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! WHY!"

"Because foolish little brother," Sasuke shot him a death glare, "every day when you become a highschool freshman, you will be out here, at the bus stop, rain or shine, to go to school at seven AM."

"...I hate the school board."

"Don't we all?" Hatake Kakashi grinned cheekily, walking up to meet the brotherly duo.

"Kakashi-sempai, what are you doing here?"

"Has this community finally sunken so low that a mere man can not wait for the bus with his neighbors anymore?"

"Not if he has a car, he can't."

"Oh, yeah. The car! Funny story, actually..."

"What'd you do? Crash it into a tree?" Sasuke asked bluntly.

"How'd you kno- I mean, of course not!" The silver haired teen laughed nervously. "Why would you think such a thing of me?"

"...Aniki, I'm going back to sleep. Have a good day, I'll see you when you get back."

"Buh-bye! You have fun too, 'Suke!" Itachi called.

"And pick up lots of pretty girls!" Kakashi added.

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"G'morning Itachi,...woah! Hatake, what happened to you!" Kankuro stared.

"I bet Sasuke beat him up, yeah." Deidara mumbled. "Told him to bring home a pretty girl, yeah."

"Shut up and let me sulk in peace..."

A/N: Voila! Keep in mind that this is only a really shortbonus chapter, and itwas written under the fuzzy state of my mind at three AM. You're regularly scheduled chapter should be on it's way shortly. For all those that guessed correctly, I'm going to need those descriptions e-mailed to me again. -sigh- Go to my profile, and click on the e-mail link. It should show up. If it doesn't click on the send message button. That works too. And before I forget, October is getting split up into two or three chapters...It's too big... -sobs- Thank for reading, and please review! By the way, you'll all be interested to know that out of all my readers, only eight percent of you review.


	5. October A

A/N: Ha! Behold! After so many days, I have FINALLY completed October part one! Look forward to two other installments of October to come later! Much later. Much, much, much later. –nods head- Yes. On the other hand, at least you're getting something on the Fourth of July, right? (Personally, I don't care. I'm more excited about watching the Italy vs. Germany match on later. GO GERMANY!)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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_Gaara's been acting strange lately. Yesterday, I went over to get you, and he randomly started laughing insanely. Very freaky, seeing as Gaara doesn't do laughing…Bad word choice. Right, moving on! Itachi came up with a half-assed brilliant idea today. _

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"We should baby-sit!"

"….Excuse me?" Neji hit the pause button on the remote, and looked away from his anime.

"We should baby-sit! Halloween's near, and some parent's don't have time to bring their kids around, so…."

"You know, that's not a bad idea…."

"Gaara! Are you insane! …Wait, don't answer that."

"Pshaw, I don't need you fools! I was just going to suggest that Shino could use this…experience, let's say, to get to know Konoha better. You know, the streets, the history, the KIDS…" The insomniac trailed off sinisterly. "It'll be good for him…"

Slowly, but surely, the other teens' faces split into identical evil, ebil, and 3V1L grins.

"D00M 5H4LL PWN TH33." Neji murmured sadistically, eyes slightly glazed.

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"Oi! Kisame! Wait up for a sec, I need to ask you something!" The swimmer paused allowing his fellow athlete to catch up to him.

"'Sup Blondie? Ask away?" Kisame leant back on a wall, looking amused.

"Uh… I wanted to know if you and your friends wanted to come to my party. It's on the tenth, at my place." Naruto blushed and looked down.

"I'll ask around, 'kay?"

"Mm…"

"Oh, and Naruto?" Kisame called stopping the blonde.

"Yeah?"

"Ask Sasuke out, before the tension kills me."

"Wha? But? How?"

"I think he's the only one who hasn't realized it yet."

"But I'm not even obvious!"

"You're so unobvious, it's obvious." Itachi cut in, grabbing Kisame's wrist. "Come on, it's almost time for Modern History, and heaven forbid we be late for that."

With that, the other two wove through the crowd, leaving a befuddled Naruto behind.

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_I don't know why, but Naruto walked into Geometry late today…He looked dazed. Asuma-sensei on the other hand, looks pretty pissed, so I doubt Sasuke's love interest will walk away without a detention._

_Tch. My cell is vibrating… Better get out of here…_

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"Asuma-sensei, may I go to the bathroom?"

"Of course, Shino.."

The dark haired boy quickly excused himself from the room. "Who's insane enough to text me in the middle of class?" he muttered, quickly walking through the halls.

/You have 1 new message.

Read now/

"Of course I want to read it now. Stupid thing…."

/Guess what-

Guess who just invited us

To his party? You're never

Going to guess…./

"It's got to be someone like Naruto, otherwise I wouldn't be getting text."

/It's Uzumaki Naruto!

How freakin' weird is that?

Text me back yes or no, and I'll

Tell him. –Kisame

P.S. 'Tachi and I are goin'/

"Sure, why not?"

/Whatever Kisame. I'll go if

I have to. –Shino/

"Why do I have the most bizarre feeling I'm going to regret this?"

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_OMGWTFBBQ. Best sums up Naruto's party. It was…disturbing, to say the least. Let me give you a list of the top ten most…freaky things that happened. (In chronological order, otherwise Gai-sensei will be 'greatly displease at my lack of youthfulness!'_

_10. Itachi came up with the wonderful idea to do the impossible. Become a male stripper, and not be mocked for life in doing so._

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"Hey guys, I just came up with the bestest idea:

"Whatever it is aniki, I'm not doing it. If you die, be sure to tell Dad that it wasn't my fault, and leave me in your will."

They-as in, Kisame, Itachi, Sasuke, and Shino- were on their way to Naruto's house, when Itachi made his brilliant exclamation.

"Do share with us your 'bestest' idea." Shino drawled from his seat in the back.

"I'm gonna be a stripper!"

"…" There was total and complete silence in the car. Everything had gone deathly quiet. Then, Kisame almost crashed the car into a telephone pole.

"You're….kidding, right?" Sasuke asked his brother hesistatingly. "You aren't REALLY going to...to...to..."

"Strip?" Kisame put in helpfully, voice a little higher than usual.

"Of course I am, silly! I'll be the best in the world, you'll see!"

"God, I'd gouge my eyes out with a spoon before I watched that happen." Shino muttered seriously.

"I knew you'd all support me!"

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_9. Gaara got himself talked into letting Deidara design a Halloween costume for him to wear to the dance._

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"Please, Gaara-chan? Pretty please?"

"No."

"Why won't you let me do it, yeah?" The blonde whined piteously.

"Because, a)you scare me, b)you're better at drawing and sculpting than sewing, and c)I don't plan on going to the dance."

"Okay, a)you scare me too, b)Haku offered to sew" –here, he gestured at a quiet dark-haired junior sitting the corner of the van- "I'm just going to DESIGN it, and c)why aren't you going, yeah?"

Gaara blinked. "Why are you offering to design my costume if I scare you too?"

"Because you'd make a good model, yeah. And because I was struck by inspiration."

"Oh."

"Please Gaara-chan? I PROMISE you'll like it! Just agree, become my model, yeah, and I'll get the others to go with you."

The redhead sighed. Deidara sounded so desperate, and he was Sasori's best friend/ boyfriend…."Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He mumbled. Sabuko Gaara was resigned to his fate.

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_8. Neji pulled himself away from the stereo, where all the art-kids were amusing themselves, to get into an argument with Naruto's older sister, Kyuubi, about some anime/manga._

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"I'm telling you, he died! He fell off a friggin' cliff!"

"No, he didn't! A few episodes later, and you see him aiding the Alliance!"

Kyuubi spluttered. "What alliance?"

"OMG!" Neji grabbed Kankuro, and pointed at his competitor. "Did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT! WHAT ALLIANCE!"

"Erm…Neji?"

"AMATUERS! I'M WORKING WITH AMATUERS!"

"Neji, would you kindly let Kankuro go?" Sasori asked drolly. "You're strangling him."

"Oh…hehe…sorry…."

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_7. I almost set Naruto's backyard on fire. Firecrackers are hazardous._

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"LIGHT 'EM UP! LIGHT 'EM UP! LIGHT 'EM UP! LIGHT 'EM UP!"

Shino glanced at the cheering crowd, then at Naruto. "You sure this is okay, man?"

"Definitely. Light 'em all up, Shino."

"If you say so…" The emerald eyed boy mumbled. He raised his voice. "KIBA! Help me out here!"

In unison the two flipped open their lighters, and in one sweeping motion, lit a bunch of different small fireworks/firecrackers.

"It's not our fault if they burn his lawn, right?" Kiba asked.

"Hope not…."

"I mean, it's not like we're going inside because we know the lawn will burn."

"Right." Shino confirmed. "We're just thirsty."

As the two boys closed the door behind them, they could hear the sound of a hose being turned on, and a faint: "Shit! That was awesome! Do it again!"

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_6. Naruto confessed his undying love to Sasuke, only to have his new boyfriend pass out on him._

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"Um…Sasuke, may I speak to you?" Naruto asked.

"You are now, are you?"

"Alone? In private?" he begged.

"Whatever you want to say can be said amongst these people." The younger Uchiha gestured to the ones he was having a conversation with.

"Uh…" Sasori took pity on him.

"Deidara, Kankuro, come one. We're leaving."

"Why?" the other two whined.

"Because Deidara, didn't you say you wanted to check Gaara's measurements? If you want to miss that Kankuro, suit yourself. I'm pretty sure he's going to struggle."

"I'm there." Gaara's older brother stood up immediately.

"You're right yeah…. Wouldn't do if Haku and I worked hard, and then the costume didn't fit, yeah…."

Haku cast a sympathetic look at Naruto. "Then I'll with you Deidara-sempai." They hurried away, Deidara plowing on enthusiastically along in front, Sasori herding along the other two in the back.

"Well," Neji pushed himself up. "I've gotta go warn Gaara. Coming Itachi, Kisame?" He turned to the two remaining.

"No can do Neji. Dad'll skin me alive if I let Sasuke out of my sight."

"And I'm stuck with Itachi here, elsewise, he'll get out of hand."

"A'ight. I'll find you guys later then." The pearl eyed boy wandered away.

"You were saying?" Sasuke turned back to Naruto.

"Um…"

"Don't mind us!" Itachi chirped cheerily. (A/N: Look! An alliteration….)

"Sasuke…Uh.."

"Go on…" Kisame prodded him gently.

"I'vehadtehbiggestcruhonyouforevehsowillyougoouwitmeh?" Naruto turned red.

"What?"

"Allow me to translate. I speak nervous jock." Kisame cut in calmly. "He said: 'I've had the biggest crush on you forever, so will you go out with me?"

_Thud._ "Oh! And I speak freaked out emo!" Itachi grinned. "That's a: 'Yes you freakin' idiot! It took you how long to realize I like you?'

"Huh?"

"You might want to kiss him when he comes around again." Gaara advised sagely from his hiding place in the corner.

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_5. Two words. One drinking game: Play Dare._

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"Circle up, y'all! We're gonna play a drinking game. Kyuubi has kindly donated he time to buy the booze, so she gets to choose the game:

"And I declare we get drunk off our asses to Play Dare!"

The collective masses present blinked. "Wha?" Except for…

"OMGS! I love that game!" Itachi squealed like a crazed yaoi fangirl.

"Then I totally luff you." Kyuubi squealed back.

"Then I totally luff you for luffing meh."

"Then I totally luff you for luffing meh luffing you."

"Then I-"

"Could you two get on with it?" Kisame asked testily. (A/N: Ooh…Do I detect a hint of jealously in your voice Kisame-chan?)

"Oh yeah, right." Naruto's sister coughed. "Okay, here's how you play. When it's your turn, you ask someone wether or not they 'Want to play dare?' or just plain ol' 'Play dare?' If they agree, you have to think of something they have to do. If they refuse, they gotta chug a beer."

"Somewhere in the back Deidara and Kankuro shouted something akin to 'Hurray beer!' ((1))

"Exactly. Any questions? No? Okay then, let's begin. Naru, you go first, it's your party."

"Alright…Who hasn't danced much today..Ah,okay. Pimp Shika, play dare?"

"Fine…How troublesome."

"Explain to everyone here how you got your bitches."

Shika turned to Kyuubi. "Am I allowed to take my answer back?"

His answer was a nice green bottle shoved into his hand.

"Thanks." He muttered, gulping it down. "Okay, Kabuto. Do you wanna play dare?" In the background, Naruto pouted, his question unanswered.

"Of course."

"Right. Tell us the truth. What's up with your guardian and Jiraiya?"

"Oh, you mean Orochimaru-sama and Jiraiya-sensei? They grew up together, with Tsunade. The three enjoy weekly drinking nights at the local bar, and I do believe that one time they all got so smashed that Tsunade ended up marrying the other two. So, technically speaking, I guess they're a married couple." Kabuto said all this with a cheerful smile on his face.

"Dude, that's screwed up."

"If you say so. Sasori, are you up for a dare?"

"Do I have much of a choice? Give me your best."

"Well then Sasori, I'll see you on the 30th with Deidara on the dance floor. Please don't try to get out of it, or I'll have my siblings stalk you down."

"As you wish. Gaara, do you want to play:

"Do I have a choice, Cousin?"

"Mm…Insurance for Dei-chan is what I'm doing. Gaara, you are to show up at the school's Halloween dance, in exactly what he's designed for you. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"You know exactly what he has in mind, don't you cousin?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to hate it, aren't I?"

"Of course."

"I despise you."

"Of course." Sasori smirked. "But now Dei-chan loves me more."

"Yup!" said blonde attatched himself to Sasori. "He's the bestest boyfriend ever, yeah!"

"And the worst cousin." Gaara said dryly. "Kisame, I haven't unleashed my sadism on you in awhile. Do you wanna play?"

"I'd rather be drunk off my ass than face your sadistic side. Gimme a beer, Kyuubi."

Another green bottle was handed out. However, Kisame had a really high alcohol tolerance, and wasn't nearly as inebriated as Shikamaru.

Freakishly enough, it was the ever tolerant Neji who got bored the quickest. "Screw it. Naruto, can't we just get a beer in everyone so that by the time we're all thoroughly smashed?"

"I second that!" Kyuubi called out.

"Fine, whatever."

Thus, amid the loud cheers of Deidara, Kankuro, Kyuubi, and a few others (Hurray beer!), everyone proceeded to empty alcohol into their bloodstreams.

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_4. Naruto's cousin got into the basement, and smacked him…Hard._

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"Ow…" Naruto cradled his wounded cheek. "What was that for, Hikari?"

"I'm mad at you."

"We can see that." Kiba noted aridly. "Why are you mad at him?"

"His birthday's on Eryie day. Because of that, the Eryie's won't get a proper celebration. My Gryfie won't be appreciated fully now."

"Neopets?" All eyes turned to the school's resident Otaku.

"Neopets." Neji confirmed. "Today's Eryie day. It's pretty big."

"Right…" Naruto watched his cousin stomp upstairs, quickly downing his beer.

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_3. Labeling the drunks. Don't ask. Please, don't ask._

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"Ya know what I heard?" Sasuke slurred.

"What?"

"That there are lotsa differn' types of drunks." Apparently the game of dare had been abandoned for just drinking, or trying to get others to STOP drinking. "Like, the loudish drunk, and the slurrish drunk, and the quiet drunk, and the…the…the..." the youngest Uchiha passed out.

He was caught neatly by his older brother. "Honestly Sasuke. You're going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"So are you Itachi." Kisame pointed out, Shino trailing forlornly behind him.

"Doesn't matter. The 'rents won't be home. Just drop by with coffee, and some brand name aspirin. We'll be fine."

Shikamaru swayed up to them, a girl clinging to his arm. "And what kind of drunks are they, Ino?"

"The ones you don't realize are drunk until you notice that their common sense has disappeared after their second beer." She giggled.

"True dat, true dat." He mumbled, and tottered away. Presumably to label the other drunks.

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_2. Karaoke. That one word can strike fear in any musically inclined, none-tonedeaf person. Unfortunately, there aren't many more of those people left._

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Itachi (being the kind of drunk he was) soon found himself on a makeshift stage. "I'm gonna sing _Hollaback Girl_ by Gwen Stefani.

Uh huh, this my sht

All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I ain't no hollaback girl

A few minutes later, and Haku went up, singing, dancing, and shamlessly flirting along to _Barbie Girl_ by Aqua.

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic.

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.

Imagination, that is your creation.

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Seconds later, Kyuubi and Kankuro tottered over to do an imitation of the Red Stripe commercial.

Kyuubi: Red Stripe the beer in a short, stubby bottle.

Kanky: Ugly people hold it, and are immediately less ugly.

Kyuubi: You sir! -points at Naruto- Would you consider yourself ugly?

Naruto: Hey!

Kanky: Yes! You are very ugly! Now hold this. –hands Naruto a Red Stripe bottle.-

Kyuubi: Now look! He is beautiful!

Kanky: Red Stripe, it's beer.

All: Hurray beer!

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_1. Trying to figure out how to get everybody back home._

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"Right! Anyone who's under the age of sixteen, go to the front of the room! Anyone over the age of sixteen too drunk to walk in a straight line, join them. Those who are sober, or at least can talk without slurring out your words, to the back. All those in-between, to the middle!" There was a flurry of motion as people began to congregate.

"From there, everyone who lives in upper-Konoha, to the left. Lower-Konoha to the right. Those in the middle, put yourself in between."

"Now, find yourself a sober body on your side of town drunks, they're going to help get you home."

In the end, many people found themselves holding foreign car keys in one hand, and a complete stranger in the other. For example, Kisame found himself driving home not only the Uchiha brothers and Shino, but also Kin ("I'm a fucking band geek"), Dosu ("Look at me the wrong way, and I'll kill you"), and Zaku ("Don't mind Kin and Dosu, they're much more sane when sober). _Ah geez_

Actually Kisame was one the lucky ones. Kankurou's van had six of the Oto siblings inside-Kabuto ("Shotgun!"), Kimimaru ("I don't feel well…"), Kidomaru ("I ain't sittin' next to him") the twins Sakon and Ukon (Neither are we!), and Tayuya (WTF!). ((A/N: I am perfectly aware that Jirobou went MIA. I don't feel any particular attachment to him, so he's just not here.)) It was amazing that Orochimaru had single-handedly raised all of them, and still managed to juggle a full-time job. _somebody please_

For Neji though, karma was being a bitch. Why? He was driving a car-load of crazy, psychotic people home. Gaara had called shotgun (thank god), while Sasori, Deidara, Rock Lee (YOSH!), and Zabuza (from da Hood!) piled into the back. _SAVE ME!_

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_The morning after:_

_Kisame found out that brand name aspirin and Itachi don't mix._

_Sasuke- after remembering he was Naruto's new boyfriend- passed out…again._

_Neji was still suffering the after-effects of "Lee's Homemade Hangover Cure!"_

_Gaara was out for the rest of the day._

_And me… Well, I'm writing this, aren't I? _

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A/N: That is the end of October A. Thank you for reading. Please review. This took two hours to type and who know how long to write. I was trying to update before I went to camp, and give my friend's in China something to read.


	6. First Generations Chap 2

A/N: Well… I'm… sorta updating…. School is being evil (again), and this time it's my Science teacher who's a slave driver. Stoopid lab reports. My mom didn't have to start writing hers out until college. And I'm NOT IN COLLEGE!!!! WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE THESE STUPID THINGS!!!! Yeah… Rant over now; I guess you could call this another bonus chapter…

Disclaimer: Unless Masashi Kishimoto becomes an estranged member of her family (highly unlikely, no matter how much she wants it), BoredNeko does not own Naruto.

The motley crew has just started high school. Let's take a look at their mindsets, shall we?

"Now, repeat after me! Ich bin."

"Ich bin."

"Du bist"

"Du bist."

"Er, sie, es ist."

Deidara sat in his seat blankly reciting German conjugations for the verb 'sein'. Every year, they started from scratch, and high school was no exception. _…Maybe I should do something disruptive, just to liven this place up…After all, art is a bang; German is an artful form of language. Maybe German can go 'bang' too…_He began to subconsciously play with the clay in his hands.

Suddenly, the teacher shrieked. It seems that Deidara's quiet musing had turned the clay in his hands into a rather realistic looking scorpion.

_Or… Maybe not._

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"Hurry Sasori-kun! Solve this quadratic equation, and graph it! If you don't the world will explode, and everyone will die!"

The tired redhead just glared at his loud teacher. "Gai-sensei, if someone really told me that, I'd purposely screw it up. If that's all it takes to save the world, then it definitely isn't worth living in."

Gai gasped. "BUT SASORI-KUN THIS WORLD IS SO BRIGHT!!! USE YOUR YOUTH, AND SHINE!!! MAKE IT BETTER!!!!!"

Vaguely in the back of his head, Sasori was horribly glad that Gai was switching to teach writing after the year ended. He was much better suited for that, with his flowery (literally) speech and all.

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"I love Gym!" Kakashi called to Itachi, as they ran laps.

"Why?"

The older teen just smiled happily, and pointed to Jiraiya. "Jiraiya-sensei's the best ever! Did you know that he's also a manga-ka?"

"…Whataminute. You mean our gym teacher's the guy who writes that crap that you read?!"

"Hey! Icha Icha Paradise isn't crap! It's good literature!" Kakashi pouted.

"For pervs maybe!" Itachi was incredibly dubious.

"Well, I still think he's awesome. Hey! Did you know that some of his characters are based off the students he teaches?"

The Uchiha glanced at the blonde, well-endowed girls running the opposite way on the track, wearing school provided short-shorts, and tight T-shirts. "I don't doubt that at all…"

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A/N: Merry Christmas. I'll update… sooner than before. Yeah.


	7. October B

A/N: I TOLD YOU GUYS I'D UPDATE SOON!!!!! Yuppers. So, here's October B for you! (Please don't eat me…) Um… Happy Winter Days?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the pieces of clothing that don't fit that I got for Christmas. Cursed relatives….

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_Only two weeks until the Halloween Dance. I've never seen Gaara so jumpy. He keeps looking around like a paranoid freak. I suppose it's okay for him to be like that though, Deidara's been popping out of nowhere, taking random measurements, and then hugging him until he chokes. Oh-sorry, Neji's just corrected me. Glomping Gaara, and then running off. It's actually quite humorous._

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Shino blinked as Gaara was attacked (yet again) by Deidara. Was the artist trying to kill the poor redhead? (A/N:IRONY!!!)

Beside him Neji sighed. The poor Hyuuga was on what Kisame dubbed as 'Gaara duty'. Making sure Gaara made it safely from one class to another with a as little mental/physical damage to innocent pedestrians as possible. 'Gaara duty ' was close to impossible, seeing as when Gaara was jumpy, he was dangerous. Not a healthy combination. "I've never seen him so nervous." The pearl-eyed boy commented.

"Really?" Now Shino was interested. The pyromaniac had only been around for (give or take) three months, and he's already noticed that Gaara and Neji seemed to know each other better.

"Yup. We've known each other since elementary school, and I've never seen him as freaked out as he is now. He really must be worked about whatever Deidara's making him wear."

"Who wouldn't? Dei's not exactly known for his sanity."

"True dat, true dat…" The otaku sighed. "Please excuse me Shino, I've a mentally unstable friend to escort." With that, Neji grabbed Gaara by the hood of this sweatshirt, and proceeded to drag him away."

"Buh-by now…"Shino called, waving in a half-hearted manner.

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_I thought Gai-sensei was crazy. I though wrong. His 'eternal rival' is my Art teacher. Kakashi-sensei is apparently a student of Jiraiya's. He's always reading these creepy, perverse books, and he never, ever, shows up to class on time. Don't get me wrong Crimson, he's a great artist, and a young one at that. He also just happens to be a total and complete pervert. I really don't want to know how it happened. Dei and Sasori, who are both in my class, say that he's so great because he closely studies the human body, and the different positions it can be in._

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"It just doesn't look right, yeah." Deidara grumbled, before scrapping yet another sheet of paper.

"Next to him, Sasori groaned. "You said that twenty times already! I know you have the basic idea down, but how many different versions can you possibly think of? Poor Haku's got nothing to do!"

"Ano, that 's no true Sasori-sempai! I'm working on the other designs that Deidara-sempai gave me." The feminine boy was quick to assure his senpai that he was busy.

"Hm.." The redhead was not convinced.

"Ne! See Sasori-danna, yeah? Haku is plenty busy enough, yeah. I'm stuck, yeah, so I'm gonna ask Kaka-sensei for help." With that, the blonde pushed himself up, and headed toward his teacher's desk.

Shino turned to Sasori. "What exactly is he designing?"

"It's a secret." The other teen replied automatically. "Well….Here's a clue. Gaara will, without a doubt, dead out refuse to wear it."

"Basically, you're telling me that it's mortifyingly embarrassing, and that Gaara would rather gouge out his eyes with a rusty spork, dye his hair magenta, and declare that he's a pretty princess then wear it."

"…Pretty much, yeah."

"So, does Dei have his will written out yet?"

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"Here. A gift of appreciation for getting us home." Kabuto handed Kankuro a card.

"Uh… Thanks?"

Hesitatingly, the brunette opened it. The front was pretty generic, with a colorful 'Thank You' in bubble letters in the middle. Inside were drawings of all six Oto siblings in a chibi stick-figure form. "Um?"

"Well, you got us all home, dealt with Tayuya's cursing, Kimimaru's motion sickness, and the twin's general bizarreness. Kidomaru and I figured you deserved something to show for it."

"Oh…That's cool! Tell the rest that I say thanks."

"Will do."

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"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Hey, did you know that for every ten seconds of awkward silence, a gay baby is born?" The classroom of quietly reading students turned to glare at Kiba. "Well, I THOUGHT you guys would be interested!"

"…"

"So, congrats on making at least fifteen babies so far, how-"

"KIBA, SHUT UP!"

"Yes ma'am…" the brunette muttered sulkily.

Naruto grinned at his friend's childishness, but inwardly he was counting along with the others. _1…2…3…4…5…_

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"Oh my god, Sasuke, look at her butt. It is sooo big. She looks like one of those rapper guys girlfriends. Ugh, who gets those rapper guys anyway? The only reason they talk to her is because she looks like a total prostitute. I mean, look at it. So bit… and proud… and-"

"Itachi, I was under the impression that you couldn't get any more gay. Apparently, I was wrong." Sasuke stood up. "Please excuse me while I reevaluate my whole life."

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"Hey Shino?" Gaara asked from his couch.

"Yeah?" The other boy replied, as he tinkered with Gaara's (dead) computer.

"How do you and Kiba know each other?"

"That's a long story…But we have time. Your computer is busted beyond repair anyway."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh suck it up… Anyway, you know how I used to live in Ame before I moved to Konoha?"

"Yeah. You mentioned that your neighborhood only had a few other kids."

"Mm…Kiba used to be on of those kids. He was the loud one in school; I was the quiet one. We were put next to each other in…Science? Yeah, it was Science, as lab partners."

"Was it hell?"

"No, surprisingly not. He talked enough for the both of us-he still does actually- so eventually I just started talking back. I set my first roll of toilet paper on fire in his yard. He moved away when I was in sixth grade, so I never really expected to see him again. It's pretty cool to have someone to burn things with again."

"I know what you mean. When Neji went to the prestigious-private-school-for-bastards, it felt like a part of me was missing. I was ecstatic when he came back. Of course… Neji being the egotistical ass he is, the first words out of his mouth are 'Did you miss me?'"

Shino chuckled. "So you two are close. I mean, I bet not many people have seen Neji-the-egotistical. They only see Neji-the-genius, or Neji-the-creative. Feel loved about the fact that he shows you sides of himself that he doesn't share with other people."

"I guess…"Gaara pouted. "But he's still an ass…."

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Crimson,. The Halloween dance is tomorrow, and Deidara's unveiled his costume for Gaara. It's a catgirl. He's got these cat-ears and tail, along with a t-shirt that says 'Dogs have owners, cats have slaves.' It's a pretty awesome shirt… If you ignore the fact that the words are bright pink. He's also got one of those weird skirt/shorts combo things (black) and a purse. I have to say, Deidara and Haku did good work. 

_The problem is getting Gaara into it. But apparently, Sasori has a plan. Whatever it is, I hope it works. I'm bringing a camera with plenty of memory along with me. Hopefully Gaara doesn't notice and squash it…_

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_Apparently, Gaara has a honor thing about keeping his promises. But he did come really close to squashing my camera. It was interesting to watch him walk around in heels; he makes it look so simple. And Neji had his cousin, Hinata, fix Gaara up so that he looked like a flat-chested girl._

_Even better, just to piss Gaara off, Neji's going as a cat-boy, so they sort of look like a fighter-pair from Loveless. Gaara was trying to figure out who to maim first: Sasori, Deidara, or Neji. In the end, he didn't get too far. The Yaoi fan girls decided that today was a good time to ambush him._

_One of them grabbed Gaara, and 'squeed' so loudly, I thought my eardrums would bust. She spent the longest time ever ranting about how he looked like the offspring of Sengoku Kiyosumi and Kirihara Akaya. Luckily, Itachi walked in with the pieces of cloth he called a costume, and the Yaoi club ran after him. And since Zabuza (from Da Hood!) was DJ-ing, 'Sexy Back' started playing. In the first fifteen minutes of the dance. I lost my hearing… Curse you fangirls._

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"ITACHI!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! POSE FOR US!!! TOTALLY BISHOUNEN!! YOU'RE DEFINITELY BRINGING SEXY BACK!!!!!"

"…My ears are bleeding." Shino deadpanned.

"Your ears?! Gaara shrieked. "Your ears! At least you didn't get glomped until you couldn't breath! At least you still have some respect from others!

"…I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"AUGH!!!!" The redhead stomped off, probably to go castrate his laughing cousin.

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"Sakura-chan! The never-ending spring of my youth! Come dance with me! We shall bring cheerfulness back to this dreary school!" Rock Lee jumped in front of the pink-haired girl, flashing he his famous blinding smile.

Poor Neji, upon seeing Lee, dove for cover behind the much taller (and broader) Kisame. "It's…its…horrible. That color combination (green and orange) …worse than… Schuldig's…. His voice… so loud…and obnoxious… worse than Aya's laughs… So terrible…."

"Uh…Neji?" Kisame looked over his shoulder. "Not that I'm complaining about becoming a human shield or anything, but I need to go save Itachi from the insane fangirls, so I suggest hiding as far away from Lee as possible. He's less likely to find you and all."

The 074KU nodded, before edging towards Gaara, who was hiding in the shadows thataway. "Maybe, if I'm lucky, he won't be so freakin' pissed that he gives away my hiding spot."

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"…Hi." An ecstatic member of the Yaoi fanclub looked up at Itachi with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Um…Hello to you too." The eldest Uchiha mumbled, looking-for once in his life- honest to goodness freaked out. "Can I help you with anything?" _KISAME!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU?!_

"If I gave you a human sacrifice, would you grace me with you presence everyday?"

"…FUCK NO!!!" Itachi screeched, now officially scarred for life.

"Why not?"

"Because….Because that's just like… EW!"

"If I gave you prostitute boots, could you force your brother and his boyfriend to make out in a widely populated area where I would be conveniently located?"

"…" _Prostitute boots… Sasuke killing me… Looking like a sex god…Sasuke killing me…Totally owning that Ayame bitch… Getting killed by Sasuke… _"HELLS YEAH! Gimme the boots!"

The fan smirked, before pulling out the boots from nowhere. (Because fans can do scary things like that.) "It was nice doing business with you."

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"Hey have you guys seen Sasu and Naru?"

"Yeah. They're making out in a widely populated area where every insane fangirl within a 350 mile radius is conveniently located."

"Oh…" _That was disturbingly easy._

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_Okay, so the dance was hilarious, and multiple insane fangirls went home with bloody noses. Itachi found a new friend in Satski, the girl who gave him hooker boots, Kiba and I spent the better part of the night trying to set fire to the punch, and Neji will probably never have children thanks to Gaara. Pretty normal night, if you ask me. Now all we have to worry about is trick-or-treating with the neighborhood brats…_

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A/N: Finally finished… Have a nice 2007! May all your happy wishes come true!

On a completely different sidenote, is anyone other than me watching the Prince of Tennis OVA? And worshipping the ground that Shishido steps on? (Don't. Ask.)


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